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Thursday, May 28, 2009

The beginning

I have been begged, told, and pleaded to by many of my Elders to keep a remembrance of my life. I have been told by countless family members, friends, and associates to write down what I feel, have learned, or continue to think about. For their sake, the sake of my posterity, or maybe just to be plain selfish (to remember and reflect my own findings), I have decided to write this blog.

I tried to think of a lot of different names to identify with. Many of them were thoughts of titling this blog after the hardships of my life and the saying that has constistently gotten me through it, "blue skies," with the meaning coming from one of my favorite jazz charts. The basic understanding is that blue skies are shining at me... no matter what I'm going through, there's a blue sky after the storm.

Even though that would definitely be a great idea for my blog, I felt that that might be a little too much of my old life. My old life was one filled with self pity, sadness, depression, and fear. That ended for me just under a week ago. I have always been an analytical, deep, and internal thinker, and all of my thoughts and impressions came to what I call my aHA! moments, or moments of clarity. By biggest moment of clarity was just this past Friday. It came at the perfect time, a time when I needed the most support. I realized after this personal aHA! moment who I was, how I should think, and most importantly came to understand that I was a daughter of a Heavenly Father who most definitely knew and loved me. It's a long story as to why I was doubting that, or what has happened to me over the past 27 years. A part of that past might come up, but I'm more intersested in the now and in the future. I'm interested in how I act based upon the knowledge I have gained and the person that I have become.

And so, here we are. My newest idea and most interesting one to date is labeling this blog "The many Adventures of Tan-Tan." Even knowing that I am stealing the title from Winnie the Pooh, of all things, I still find it to be a perfect title. I'm interested in the adventure I will now make of my life. I'm interested in the fact that I'm going to take each day as a new opportunity to start LIVING and to DO something. I'm interested in taking what I can from the learning of the past and then letting it go. I'm interested in finding my place in this world and in doing good for all mankind. I'm interested in living each day in such a way that I can go to bed and know that I've done all that I could. I want to wake each day to have the creators of evil scared and upset that I am awake again. I want to be healthy, strong, happy, reliable, and stable. I want to be a better daughter, friend, associate, teacher, and mentor.

In short, I want to live up to my potential. Which means that with each day I need to push myself more and more, because as Lance Armstrong says, "We are much better than we know...we have unrealized capaticities." I know this to be true and I welcome anything that helps me to realize the unrealized.

4 comments:

  1. Hey girl! Miss you here in Orlando. So glad you have started the blog, I enjoyed reading your first post. Can't wait to read more :) Have a good weekend!

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  2. Writing comes natural to you! It must be all that reading you did when you were supposed to be sleeping or studying!

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  3. Tanya, you are amazing! I am excited to read more of your thoughts.

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